An Overdue Farewell to XmenNothing's Gonna Be The Same From Now On

April 20, 2009 - Finally, it clsoed. After almost 8 years in the company, Xmen finally made its final walk.

I am gonna miss you Xmen. :(

Frost Bites

I is so cold tonight that my fingernails turns pinkish. If there were ice her, i'd have frost bites (with the real ice).

*sigh

Lovelife... Not...

I miss him. I miss our grill-hopping eating nothing but pork sisig. I fell for him and I was a coward not to tell him I love him. I was so afraid to get hurt that I ended hurting both of us. I was so stupid to let go of the only thing which made perfect sense in my so-called-love-life.

*Sigh...



In Puerto Galera drinking the night away...
Mark was everything I could ask for a guy. He's smart, funny, cute (for me), honest, stable, and sweet. He even went to Puerto Galera last Holy Week just to follow me.

If only...

I am a Spender

Argh! I was not able to attend the G4M party at Government the other
night! I was not able to take the day off because I had so much work to
do especially now that I have come back to my team. There are a lot of
stuff to prepare like trackers, BSCs, PA and a lot (call center lingo).

Finally it's my day off. Got no plans for Saturday night yet. Oh,
someone from G4M invited me for dinner...or was it coffee, I dun
remember but I asked him to just text me. I dun even remember the guy's
username. What the heck! At least now someone's spending on me.
Hahaha...

I'm not really the receiver type. When I go out with friends, I am
always the spender... what they call "taya". And when I am on dates, I
dun let my guy pay for me... I always pay for what I eat. I dun like
people thinking of me as "kuripot" perhaps... or a "user".

Sunday night, me and my bestfriend are going to a fiesta! Yes! Food,
food and food. Better watch my diet and my alcohol intake. Tummy's
getting bigger. I hate it!

Well that's just about it. See you guys!

Guilty for Staying

The other day I almost cried in front of my PC at work. No, it's not
about a lost love. It is about work. It's hard enough to see that most
of my friends are leaving the program but to make me feel so guilty for
staying is harder.

This guy who I have high respect to came by my workstation the other day
and he asked why I was staying. He went on asking what the
qualifications were and stuff. This has been a big issue for me for
several weeks now. I know my boss fought for me to stay because of the
tasks that I have and because of my contribution during the winter peak
but with regards to stats, I have none last quarter.

He maybe joking but I really feel bad about what he said. He made it
sound that I should not be here; that I should be the one transferred;
that I do not have the qualifications to be retained. I didn't even ask
to stay. I never pleaded my boss to fight for me or made any special
favors just for management to make me stay. As my other superior told
me, they chose me because I handle the Rewards and Recognition team
(RnR) team, I take escalated calls, I have multiple skills and I am good
with excel.

Now I can't even look those who will be transferring straight in the eye
because of the guilt that I am staying and they're leaving the program.

I feel so bad about this... but I know I have to be strong.